The past few weeks have been……meh. I don’t really have another word to describe it, but I’ve definitely been going through a lull, moreso a bothersome one rather than a peaceful one. The week of Feb. 20th, I got in three work-outs, but they were tough! I went to a class at Ripped PHL and ended up leaving early. Last week, the only thing I did was a walk/run with Back On My Feet (a very cool organization I’ll write more about later). Other than these lackluster attempts, my activity level had pretty much mirrored my morose mood. This happens to me sometimes – I have a few weeks of decent focus, where I’m super well-organized and practicing all the healthy habits that I know help me function better. Then there come those weeks, where I don’t feel like myself at all. The following things happens without fail:
- I forgo my morning routine (coffee, reading/writing, working on some hobbies).
- I start running late to everything and rushing to work.
- I start canceling after work events and not doing any civic engagement stuff.
- I go straight to the couch after work and don’t move until I go to bed.
- I stop cooking, which means more take-out, not bringing lunch to working, and generally eating crap. One day last week I had pop tarts for lunch. POPTARTS, yall! Not a nice homemade cupcake, not french fries, not ice cream ( all of which I feel are pretty decent as far as junk food goes), but a damn factory processed, sugar filled poptart. I was feeling sooo moody that I went straight to the vending machine at work and had that $1 lunch. Suffice it to say, vending machine snacks do not do the body good. And of course, I crashed hard later that afternoon and could barely keep my eyes open at work.
- I sleep only about five or less hours a night – not because I’m up working, or reading, or cleaning – but because all I feel like doing is indulging an internet hole for hours.
- I barely drink water, which leaves me dehydrated, curbs my workouts, and increases my appetite for sugar and salt filled foods.
- My house starts to look like a mess, with dishes and clothes everywhere
It all came to a head last week, when I woke up with a sharp pain in my upper back and slightly blurry vision. I felt strongly that my moodiness was now manifesting physically; I know I needed to get back on track. Two of my good friends then texted me and asked me how I was doing because they sensed somewhere was off (love you D and A!). We started trading jokes back and forth – they improved my mood significantly.
This weekend I just took it easy – I made sure to get 7-8 hour of sleep both nights. I ordered some food that I love – Jamaican oxtail, rice and peas, fried plantains. This was not “healthy”, but it made me significantly happy. I did some self-reflection on why I’ve been feeling so sullen. I think it’s been a combination of feeling weird about my career, still adjusting to living in Philadelphia and feeling quite a bit isolated from my old life. I spent some significant chill time with my husband – we watched movies and our favorite TV shows, cracked jokes, and clowned celebrities that annoy us. It was nice to just relax with him. I also tried a new hairstyle!
I went to bed late yesterday (around midnight) but made sure I got 7 hours of sleep. I was still feeling under the weather at work so I skipped an after work social gathering this evening, went straight home, cooked, and did some writing. Tonight I’ll be in bed by 10 and hope to fit in an early morning run tomorrow.
The next few weeks I’ll focus on getting back on track!
Do you ever find yourself in a lull? What do you do to get out of it? Do people even still eat poptarts in this day and age?