In January, I got the chance to see one of my favorite pop culture bloggers – Awesomely Luvvie. If you don’t know Luvvie, you should. Why? Because she’s funny. PERIOD. She’s really really funny and her snarky brand of humor is everything we need in this day and age. There were times while reading her book that I dropped to my floor and laughed hysterically. There is no current emoji sufficient to describe the way I was laughing. It’s comparable to that laugh you release when watching Cedric The Entertainer’s set on Kings of Comedy. There is no other word to describe it but ‘ guffawing’, maybe.
Luvvie was in Philly to promote her book: I’m Judging you – The Do Right Manuel. With her trade mark sense of humor, she talked about blogging, being an entrepreneur, the 2016 Election and its aftermath, friendships, and self-care.
Luvvie on what we can learn from Chrisette Michelle’s Inauguration Debacle
As you may know, there was a ton of controversy about Chrisette Michelle’s decision to perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration. It has brought her some short-term notoriety and some money (up to 250k, although no one has confirmed the final number). It has also added a ton of negativity to her already struggling musical career, which is tough because no other major celebrity would budge when asked to perform at the inauguration. Spike Lee was pissed at her; QuestLove offered to pay her NOT to perform. Then she had the nerve to go on a media blitz to continuously justify her decision.
Luvvie’s Life Lesson: Don’t sacrifice the long term for some limited short term gains. Yes, Chrisette is being talked about now. Yes, she received a little bit of money. But the backlash was swift, harsh, and will likely cause her some major dollars in the future. In the end, she sacrificed her values for some limited TV time. Don’t mess up the your chances to create greater value for superficial short term wins.
Luvvie on How Her Cultural Background Influences her
Luvvie credits her confidence and willingness to take risks to her Nigerian roots. She mentioned that she has never felt the need to take a back seat to anyone or anything because she is simply not afraid of rejection or criticism. According to her, in Nigerian culture, no one will cut you down (lovingly and with your best interest at heart) more than your family will. By the time she was grown, she’d already gotten a lifelong dose of haterade, so nothing internet trolls say to her has any significant impact on how she sees herself.
I was born and raised in the USA, but come from Ghanaian roots so I totally related to this. I will say that my mother was not as biting in her appraisals as I’ve seen in other West African families. There’s this concept of “we’ll rough you up to prepare you for what the rest world of the world will do to you” that exists in many families in the African diaspora. And don’t even try to bring home a B on your report card…..just don’t.
Luvvie On Building and Maintaining Friendships
It’s okay not to have high maintenance friendships, remember that adult friendships looks different (e.g., you can not talk for three months and it’s fine). It’s important to understand that different people take up different spaces in your life.
This very much resonated with me. Not everyone is meant to be your BFF. You will have brunch buddies, workout buddies, buddies to rant and rave about social justice with, buddies you see once a year. There may be that one person whose Facebook post you always ‘like’ because s/he is just so cool. That’s okay too. Some of us have that core Sex and the City – like group of friends. Others fill their lives with different people who play various roles. It’s all good. Just treat people well. And if you care about someone, apologize when you don’t act right. If you’ve Marie Kondo-ed a person, just keep it moving.
Luvvie On Staying Centered
The one and only thing Luvvie does to stay centered is that she forgoes going out on New Year’s Eve and goes to church instead. She doesn’t meditate daily, use crystals, or use specific essential oils on specific days. This is a reminder to us all to filter all of the “best practices” and trends we see and read about, through our own lens’ of what works best for us.
I used to try to force myself to stick to this crazy morning routine that looked like:
- 5 min – wake up, pee, and make coffee
- 10 min – meditate
- 5 min – write down affirmations and gratitude
- 10 min – practice excel
- 15 min – practice Spanish
- 15 min – read a self-help book
- 60 min – exercise
It was absolutely ridiculous and stressed me the heck out. If I started my excel at 5:22 instead of 5:20, I would start panicking like it was going to ruin my whole day. I also wasn’t really spending any focused time on anything and in turn wasn’t learning much. I won’t even tell you how many times I would go over HLOOKUPS because I literally didn’t have time to just learn it! Nowadays I still try to wake up early but I ditched the meditation, morning reading and excel. It just wasn’t working for me.
Write all your ideas, thoughts, and dreams down. When you see something, it’s easier to manifest it!